Dear Meggan,

Know what I miss the most? When you would look into my eyes and smile and just share the moment. Everything was always okay when we were together. It makes me sad to know that it’s gone now. I understand, and I’m starting to lose the feelings too, it’s just hard to let go and leave us in the past. It’s like the one thing that was never supposed to happen. We were together forever and then some and nobody could ever change it... then it just changed. I guess true love can never exist between two people, just from one person to another. Our ’love at first sight’ turned into ’why can’t we love eachother anymore?’

I’m losing my best friend and I’ll never get her back. I’ve never had a friend like you before... and I never will again. We’ve done so much together and shared so many things... our first child, our first love, our first marriage, our first home, our first new family, and so much more. I can’t imagine not having eachother to protect one another from the harsh outside world. I always thought we took eachother away to a better place, but now you’ve forgotten how to get to that place, and I’m all alone there. Kinda defeats the purpose of having that place at all.

Now, it just hurts to look at you and not have you run to my arms and lay your head against my chest with that look of eternal happines in your sparkling eyes. Instead now, I have to watch you go about your business as if we never were. I wish I had the power to be as disconected as you are. But every time I try, my heart breaks again. I want to let go, but I know I’ll drown in lonlyness if I do. The further I drift from you, the darker it gets. The bright light of loves dawn has faded into a midnight of disgust and hate. Why did we ever start something that YOU couldn’t finish?

"I’ll never leave you", "Forever", "I promise", "We were made for eachother", "True love", "We are soulmates"... all things you’ve said time and again that were lies... and every one of them hurts. I don’t understand, but I forgive you. You will always be my one and only and I really will never give up on you. You mean too much to me... but maybe you’ll be happy with someone who will lie to you, cheat on you and never truely love you. Maybe it’s what you want. Maybe I was TOO good to you. Yet you lie to your "friends" and tell them off the wall things about me to make yourself feel vindicated by turning me into something I never was. You KNOW I’ve never treated you like anything less than a princess. I’ve ALWAYS supported you and my children and contributed valuable assetts in one way or another. I’ve always been proud of you and proud to be with you. When someone would talk behind your back, I was always there to defend you. When I saw your "friends" being hurtful or using you, I told you. Sometimes you believed me, sometimes not, but it always came out in the wash and you always thanked me for being who I am.

You’re my baby and I love you,
~KM

PS. Digest that, think about it and write back with your feelings. Not a couple words just to dodge the thought, but take time to be real with me. Write it in private so that you can be open and not have to hide anything.