I guess that's the best way I can describe my life right now. For those who are watching my life from a distance and don't really know my present situation, I'll explain:
After my last blog here, a lot went down. I was basically cut off from the world and buried by my wife. Why? I don't know right now, but I'm sure it'll all come out in the wash. I decided after about the fifth or sixth really big, dirty slap in the face from her, that I'd just lie down and die like she wanted. On the night of the 16th, I overdosed on 60 sleeping pills and about 150 pain killers. The next thing I remember is waking up in Saginaw hospital, hardly able to form words or move on the twentieth. Four days, I was out like a light, from what I hear, very vulgar, violent and spaced out. I have no recollection of anything from 8-16 till 8-20, but from the injuries I seem to have, I can imagine, I wasn't in top condition over those days.
One of my closest friends, Shane, came over on the night of the seventeenth only to find my crumpled body in an odd position in a strange place in my apartment. He and his girlfriend and my other close friend Tony are the only reason I'm here to type this now (the fucking assholes). They called the ambulance, who routed me to West Branch Hospital, who routed me to Saginaw Hospital who kept me for a week and then routed me to the loony bin in Midland for another week.
It's been quite the trip, but none for the better. Since I was hospitalized, my wife saw her chance to run in and secure the apartment for herself, seeing as how that's way more important than saying goodbye to your dying husband (I guess I almost didn't make it a couple times there, and kinda wish I hadn't). She basically told my sister that she was legally responsible for me and would 'pull the plug' if the chance arose. What I've done to so enrage this woman, I don't know, but it must have been god-awful.
When Meggan left, I went to ask the landlady if I could have her removed from the lease and get my locks changed. She told me it would be illegal for her to change the locks, so we'd have to work out who was staying and who wasn't and basically, somebody would have to remove themselves from the lease and that my wife couldn't change locks on me either. Well, when I got out of the hospitals, I came back to Shane's apartment to hear about how all my stuff had been being sold right out of our apartment. Guess what, the deadbolt lock has been changed!!!!!!! I decided enough is enough, day after day I see more and more of my stuff in the dumpster and wanted to salvage anything I could from my apartment, so, today while she wasn't there (don't wanna violate the ppo) I asked out maint. man if he could let me in and help me get anything that was mine. He said he didn't wanna get in trouble, so he called the landlady who told him absolutely not to let me in. Isn't that nice? Somebody lied to me, go figure. I went to my van and found a half dozen bags of junk (some of it mine, some of it just trash). I then noticed, not only had she done that, but she also stole/sold my subs, boxes & amp from the back of my van. She sold my PSP and all 8 or 9 games to some guy for $40. Basically all I got is what Shane could talk her into giving him when she thought I was going to die... My 46" HDTV, my PS3 and a few bags of random DVD's that remained from my 700+ collection. I would guess about 150 DVD's total. I got SOME of my clothes, all of my shoes (3 pair) and some of my games and accessories. My brand new Battlefield Bad Company gold edition and my white dual shock 3 controller are missing in action as of now. I got the charge cord for my Jabra Bluetooth headset, but not the headset itself. She went as far as to send over a wal-mart bag with the vacuum cleaner contents in it. She's thrown away anything I've ever got for her or the kids, and most of the kids stuff in general. Why? No clue.
My friend Jason said he saw her in the bar the other night and she wouldn't say more than two words to him. I reassured him it wasn't personal and that she's been being rude to everyone that's talked to her. I'm not sure what's gone wrong in her head, but she's obviously VERY unstable. Another thing, she wants full custody of our kids, yet for some reason, the night after she took them and left on the 7th, they went down to her grandmas in Caro and have not been heard from since. Obviously she can't even handle taking care of them (as I did most of that over the last two years). How do I prove that in a court of law? I can't I guess, so that one has to slide. I just want joint custody, not to take them away from her. But for now, all I can do is sit on my thumbs and do nothing.
Through all of this, my sister has been very supportive. She's made a lot of the legal headache go away by doing a lot of footwork for me. It's strange, because we've never exactly 'gotten along' but when it comes down to it, I guess she's got my back. Pretty cool. She's been trying to help me be in better spirits too, but to little avail.
My mentality slips from day to day. A very few people have been a godsend. Leanne keeps me in high hopes for a brighter future. She's my oldest and dearest friend.
After my last blog here, a lot went down. I was basically cut off from the world and buried by my wife. Why? I don't know right now, but I'm sure it'll all come out in the wash. I decided after about the fifth or sixth really big, dirty slap in the face from her, that I'd just lie down and die like she wanted. On the night of the 16th, I overdosed on 60 sleeping pills and about 150 pain killers. The next thing I remember is waking up in Saginaw hospital, hardly able to form words or move on the twentieth. Four days, I was out like a light, from what I hear, very vulgar, violent and spaced out. I have no recollection of anything from 8-16 till 8-20, but from the injuries I seem to have, I can imagine, I wasn't in top condition over those days.
One of my closest friends, Shane, came over on the night of the seventeenth only to find my crumpled body in an odd position in a strange place in my apartment. He and his girlfriend and my other close friend Tony are the only reason I'm here to type this now (the fucking assholes). They called the ambulance, who routed me to West Branch Hospital, who routed me to Saginaw Hospital who kept me for a week and then routed me to the loony bin in Midland for another week.
It's been quite the trip, but none for the better. Since I was hospitalized, my wife saw her chance to run in and secure the apartment for herself, seeing as how that's way more important than saying goodbye to your dying husband (I guess I almost didn't make it a couple times there, and kinda wish I hadn't). She basically told my sister that she was legally responsible for me and would 'pull the plug' if the chance arose. What I've done to so enrage this woman, I don't know, but it must have been god-awful.
When Meggan left, I went to ask the landlady if I could have her removed from the lease and get my locks changed. She told me it would be illegal for her to change the locks, so we'd have to work out who was staying and who wasn't and basically, somebody would have to remove themselves from the lease and that my wife couldn't change locks on me either. Well, when I got out of the hospitals, I came back to Shane's apartment to hear about how all my stuff had been being sold right out of our apartment. Guess what, the deadbolt lock has been changed!!!!!!! I decided enough is enough, day after day I see more and more of my stuff in the dumpster and wanted to salvage anything I could from my apartment, so, today while she wasn't there (don't wanna violate the ppo) I asked out maint. man if he could let me in and help me get anything that was mine. He said he didn't wanna get in trouble, so he called the landlady who told him absolutely not to let me in. Isn't that nice? Somebody lied to me, go figure. I went to my van and found a half dozen bags of junk (some of it mine, some of it just trash). I then noticed, not only had she done that, but she also stole/sold my subs, boxes & amp from the back of my van. She sold my PSP and all 8 or 9 games to some guy for $40. Basically all I got is what Shane could talk her into giving him when she thought I was going to die... My 46" HDTV, my PS3 and a few bags of random DVD's that remained from my 700+ collection. I would guess about 150 DVD's total. I got SOME of my clothes, all of my shoes (3 pair) and some of my games and accessories. My brand new Battlefield Bad Company gold edition and my white dual shock 3 controller are missing in action as of now. I got the charge cord for my Jabra Bluetooth headset, but not the headset itself. She went as far as to send over a wal-mart bag with the vacuum cleaner contents in it. She's thrown away anything I've ever got for her or the kids, and most of the kids stuff in general. Why? No clue.
My friend Jason said he saw her in the bar the other night and she wouldn't say more than two words to him. I reassured him it wasn't personal and that she's been being rude to everyone that's talked to her. I'm not sure what's gone wrong in her head, but she's obviously VERY unstable. Another thing, she wants full custody of our kids, yet for some reason, the night after she took them and left on the 7th, they went down to her grandmas in Caro and have not been heard from since. Obviously she can't even handle taking care of them (as I did most of that over the last two years). How do I prove that in a court of law? I can't I guess, so that one has to slide. I just want joint custody, not to take them away from her. But for now, all I can do is sit on my thumbs and do nothing.
Through all of this, my sister has been very supportive. She's made a lot of the legal headache go away by doing a lot of footwork for me. It's strange, because we've never exactly 'gotten along' but when it comes down to it, I guess she's got my back. Pretty cool. She's been trying to help me be in better spirits too, but to little avail.
My mentality slips from day to day. A very few people have been a godsend. Leanne keeps me in high hopes for a brighter future. She's my oldest and dearest friend.
Every time I think about her I feel like everything is going to be okay. When we talk on the phone, I'm in a different place, where everything is perfect and no bad things exist. It's killing me not to be able to see her, I think it would help me a lot. I think about her every day. Not obsessively or anything, I just really need a friend that knows my story, a friend that's been there over so many years and can be strong for me because I feel weak right now. I hate to burden anyone, but I don't feel like I have a choice now. Liz has been supportive as well, though I know she has her own ulterior motives, haha.
I guess I don't know what else to say or do right now. I just feel like I've been beat up and left for dead and everyone's taking turns shitting on me. Sometimes it even feels like the helpful people are only there because they feel like they have to be. I'm excruciatingly uncomfortable right now and it's driving me insane... if I'm not there already. Don't know which way to turn now.
~KM
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